10.6.23

September flew by! I felt like I was hitting the one year mark of being diagnosed, I blinked, then September was over! Part of that may have been because the kids planned and I threw a surprise 40th birthday party for Aaron! It was great. He was SURPRISED!

Now we are quickly, and I mean quickly approaching my surgery date! It’s amazing how excited and nervous you can be about the same thing. I am so ready to have this chapter behind me! But if I think about it, I get sick to my stomach. So I am working hard to not think about it. At the moment I’m keeping myself busy with shifts at Deborah’s, an evening each week at Red Cedar Chiropractic, and then I have 3 family sessions and a wedding all scheduled over the next two weeks of October. However the week leading up to surgery I won’t be “working” anywhere. I’m sure it will fill up with all the last minute things that need to be done before we leave.

I received my pre surgery email Tuesday… 😬 I printed off 5 pages of consents! I need to initial and sign acknowledging of all the possible things that could go wrong. Talk about stomach turning. I also received my pre surgery instructions. Three weeks before surgery I have to have some tests done (CBC, EKG, chest xray, etc.) They will call in my prescriptions that I need to have on hand for after surgery. Two weeks before surgery I need to stop vitamins, herbal supplements, aspirin products and my tamoxifen. One week before surgery they want me drinking 1-2 protein shakes a day. The night before surgery I need to drink a ClearFast (that’s the brand I bought), take a shower using Hibiclens (4% Chlorhexidine), remove all jewelry, and nothing to eat after midnight except if I’m instructed to drink another ClearFast the morning of surgery. The day of surgery I’m supposed to take another shower using the Hibiclens, no deodorants/lotions etc. I will be told to drink another ClearFast so I’ll do that and take a Celebrex (one of my prescribed meds) before arriving at the hospital. My arrival time: 6am. Surgery time: 8am. I’ll be at the hospital for 2 days and up and walking within 24hrs of surgery. I have 5 pages printed of instructions and what to expect! It seems a little overwhelming when you get all this information at one time and there’s a certain order in doing them. I know it won’t be as bad when I actually get to each of them. I’m looking at the mountain right now vs just taking the first step. 🙂

I don’t know how many of you are familiar with what type of reconstruction I am doing. It’s called DIEP Flap. If you would like to read more about it you can here. It’s a 6-8 hour operation where they will be connecting a lot of little blood vessels. The biggest concern right after surgery is that the newly transferred tissue has proper blood flow. If it doesn’t I risk necrosis. I would appreciate prayers that everything would go smoothly with both the surgery and the recovery. Prayers that I can focus on what is good and right. It’s easy to go down rabbit trails. This cancer journey has taught me how much we can fear the unknown. It’s a very real thing. And if you aren’t being diligent on taking your thoughts captive you can find yourself bogged down in worry or what ifs. Also, no cancer is a “good cancer” to get. Sometimes in peoples attempts to be positive or they don’t know what to say… They will say something like: Well if you are going to get cancer that’s a good one to get. Insinuating that the survival rate is good and it’s an “easy” fix. My two cents: This particular cancer can be a very hard cancer to go through. It’s not an easy fix. The mental battle with body self image is real. Some days it doesn’t faze me at all and other days it’s hard. (Poor Aaron) I have to remind myself, God is in control. He has this all figured out. And when I’m feeling particularly spunky, I remind myself this body is only temporal 😉 I’ll get a new one some day that will be PERFECT. What a glorious day that will be! And last but not least, prayers for Aaron and the kids. The caregivers can easily get overlooked and I know it’s hard on all of them. Prayers for patience, strength, and stamina. It will be a long couple of weeks of recovery.