1.15.24

Well, I have some exciting news… I have my phase two scheduled!!! It’s happening sooner than we originally thought. We were planning sometime in the spring but found some really good prices on airline tickets and couldn’t pass up the savings. We told the kids at Christmas they get to go with us for the revision. Most of them are excited and one is scared to fly. This will be a first for most of them. Kade and Ev are the only ones that have flown but they were 2 yr and 5 mo old at the time. Oh and I was like 10 weeks pregnant with Easton when we went to Hawaii for our 10 year anniversary. So technically he’s flown. The other night at supper Colt asked him if he had fun flying. E replied in kind of an annoyed tone like Colt should have known better: I was in mom’s tummy I don’t remember it. (I love listening to their conversations!)

February 19 is revision day.

We’re planning to fly out a week before so we can do some fun things first. I’m not sure how much I’ll feel like doing after, I have heard you get pretty sore with this one.

I’ve reached a new chapter in my cancer journey. Or at least I’m dubbing it that. I’m learning to “live” again. Since my diagnosis it’s been go, go, go. You are in survival mode and you have all these doctor appointments and things to do. That part of it has slowed down for me. Which is really nice! But now I’m left more with my thoughts and just this is what life is like now. Outwardly I appear normal/healed. Anybody looking at me would have no idea that I’m a cancer survivor. (Aside from the shorter hair, but lots of women have shorter hair so…) However on the inside nothing is the same. I’m still battling the mental stuff. I’m sure ya’ll can imagine without me going into too much detail so I won’t do that. I know over time that part will get better. Time has a way of doing that. At least that’s my hope. One thing I didn’t see coming: I’ve noticed my cognitive ability is not the same. Chemo brain anyone?? I had heard the term but thought it was something you dealt with more during chemo. (Which I did.) But I did not realize it was something that would have lingering side effects. It’s hard for me to focus/process new information. Which is super frustrating when I used to pick things up so quickly. My sarcasm/quick witted humor is not what it used to be. Or at least I don’t feel like it’s the same. I also feel like I struggle with words, I’ll know what I want to say but can’t think of the right word. It doesn’t sound like I’m the only one with these kind of issues after chemo.. I was encouraged to keep trying new things. I wondered if doing something like a crossword puzzle or some other brain game would help with the brain fog?? I just have to find the time/energy to do them. In the mean time I’m learning to take it easy on myself. (We’re always our own worst critics aren’t we?)

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.

John 16:33

Emersyn has patiently been waiting since her birthday (in June) for a kitten. We told her she could get one but it had to be after my surgery… She finally got her kitten!!

Meet Hazel.

At least we think she’s a Hazel. Unless we find out at our vet appt that she is actually a he. haha. Then we’ll have to come up with a new name…

Everyone is excited. Including Tucker! It’s been a learning curve but they are slowly warming up to each other.

Believe it or not they actually put themselves in there and locked it!

Talk about sticker shock!! Each time I have labs, meet with my doctor, and get my shot it costs over 3K. (I see my doctor every three months now.) But my shot alone is $2600. And I have to get that each month. Thank goodness for insurance! It’s ridiculous it costs that much though! My oncologist is highly recommending I get an oophorectomy (my ovaries removed). He was pretty adamant that I didn’t need to make a decision right away. He told me I’ve been through so much, I should just take a little breather. It’s something we can talk about in the fall. However, if I’m going to do it I’d rather have it done sooner than later since we’ll hit our deductible again this year. One positive to the oophorectomy: not having to get the Lupron shot each month! And of course not having to worry about getting ovarian cancer… I’m just so tired of surgeries..

The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him.

Psalm 28:7

We finally got some snow!!

Psalm 28:7